TODAY IAM THIS HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUHAZZZZZZZZZZ!!

I keep it GANGSTA!!! do tha giggin bitches!! .. B.G keep it gangsta..

hunk of the day ...

cutieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

B.G as one in the HOT BOYZ crew..the Cash money is his expression and he is from tha hot New Orleans,, one of tha best rapper in the game..

I know ...

what I wanna..and I wanna what I want!

ONE really good summer feeling song..YEAH!!

the worst thing...

I dont know what MR SMILE's name is for real thats sick... cause niether one of us could hear what it was..LMAO...

last night

did MR L call.. And suddenly I feel better.. Now I have come to realize I dont need a man like that so I will tell him BYE BYE...
Its not like me gonna end up all alone ya dig?! not to brag.. but theres many fish in the ocean .. lol
well MR SMILE did came up to me today when me and my friends all hooked up at the Centra of THE big E... Its the square ..here all people hook up when its nice weather..
Well I have never spoke to this man.. just seen him like in everyplace where I have been the two last weeks.. The first time I saw him I was like GOD DAMMIT!!!
Well he have looked and smiled and I have done it back and so today he came walking ova the square ..
We sat at the coffee house and just chilled outside in tha sunny weather... I waved to him and was like "hiiiiiiiii".. lol
He came to me and asked how everything was going and we talked for a while then he asked if we could take some coffee someday and he asked after my phone number... I gave it to him with a smile on my face .. I felt like this man who is soooo gorgous yes I promise u ..he is sooo HOT!! wanna go out with meeeeeee...
All my gurls was like damm gurl you got it going...:) '
I belive he is from poland or Bosnia-Hertzegovina... well something like that..but he is just A ..THE HOTTIE!!
so my mood today is nothing like it was yesterday.. And I donno what happen to me, I had it promised to my self to never let anyone dis me like that again.. and look what happen...
well now its my turn cause this between me and MR L will never get a serious relation after this.. Yeah maybe Iam sensitive but he did disrespect me.. And a man who do that this earlie will do it more and more...
So SEXXYMAMI will keep movin.. I dont have the name for nothin..

sometimes ..

I just feel like I wanna die.. lay in the bed under my blanket and never wake up again..
Now I have this feeling and I know its not llike me.. BUT I cant help this feeling I have for this MR L..
IF he only said go to hell or something..he could just tell me he dont want me.. ANYTHING! but this is just a long damm painful waiting..and that kills me from the inside...
I go nervous and I go crazy... I cant stop thinking of it and thats tears me down for every min....
I cant understand why?? what?? how ?? where??
I want answers and I cant have em.. how much I beg for em.. This is the first time in my whole life I have been treated like this.. a deadful, painful silence.. a silence that makes people insane..
I know Iam rough and hard sometimes but this can break any ass down ...

WTF! The worrie will soon be replaced with anger and then sometime somewhere somehow I will meet his sorry little ass up and then he will spit it to me weather he like it or not! ... Maybe I will even slap his face .. cause a little boy deserves to be spanked when he have been bad..ya dig?? I mean how can I treat this disrespectfullness?? AM I just gonna sit at my phat ass smile and accept the fact ghow he played me? how he just like the hunt after me? and then there wasnt funny no more he just gave the shit about me?

Right now I feel soo ALONE ...and I can never TRUST any man AGAIN ... all my experiances have give me scares and my heart is soured...
WHATS wrong with MEN? whats wrong with people???? is it HARD to tell the truuuuuth????????????...damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm
I cry over someone who is invisible...

Poem #01

Love hold me until I dissapear...
and scrape away my only fear...
your words are like a drug to me..
I can hear your love but barely see..
sit for hours and talk all night..
and when we kiss it feel so right..
your gentle grasp I wish to keep..
its safe to safe to say ive been fallen asleep..
a dream with you to never awake..
so spare my heart that you will take..

DEAR GOD...WOULD YOU SEND ME AN ANGEL?????

The sexxy back of Beutyful BEYONCE

The mysteria with my finger...

wasnt so mysterious at all..
The DR told me I must have got something in it he cut it up and squeezed out tha fluid with some blood.. It hurted like hell but I didnt want tha shoot to make the pain go away.. it was done in like 4 sec...
Then he said it was gonna be alright by it self... well we see about that.. I dont trust DR especially not the ones who work at the duty calls...

SO now I need someone to kiss my finger so I can feel better...or kiss me somewhere else..lol

something weird happen

with my finger it got all swollen and filled with this fluid.. I pressed it out and damm it hurts..
POOR ME!!!
maybe I need to see a DR for some medications..its an infection..and I have NO idea how it become like that.. its a mysteria..

A CLOSEUP!!!

does IT excist???

Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, and/or compatibility.
A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join.
However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations; they are sometimes used simply as an expression of strong emotional feeling for someone.

something/nothing/anything

I can be alone but I dont wanna be lonely..
I can be sad but I dont wanna be hurt...
I can be free but I dont wanna be left alone..
I can be trusted but I do wanna people to care..
I can be open but I still wanna be myserious..
I can be chaildish but I still wanna be treated like an adult...
I can be dreamin but I can still take the truth...
I can wish alot but I still want my life..
I can be all in love but I still dont wanna be used...
I can be all those things and I still dont want you to change me...

best song right this moment...

are you a real man or a boy???

When someone is in the age of 34 I actually think he is mature enough to be straight real and open...
When someone is 34 they can call themselves MEN! if they act like it...
When it comes to MR L I wonder is he man or a boy??? we will see later today cause a real man can answer if he wanna be with me or not, not sit there all quiet and dont give a shit about things they have started..
Well he wont even be a boy in my eyes he will be a bitch ya dig a real ass Pussy! Damm I hate pussy ass men .. and even though I do I always end up in unluckly game with men who are bigger pussys then me and I have a reason to be a pussy I have one!!
this is latest news...
MR L called at my best friends home number in the middle of the night cause he doesnt got her new so she called him from it just to see if he did answer but ofcourse he didnt.. He did call her up like more then one day later in the night.. when her husband answered he hung up...did he recognize tha voice or whatt? well they could see it was from his phone number so..
Now I snt him a sms like where are we standing can you holla back to me... this is the last one cause tomorrow he will get some company at his work IF he doesnt answer..ya dig? he will loose ALOT if he cant be a man.. he will never be able to find himself a girl in this town again..lol Maybe a hoe though..
Yeah I have power here and NOONE just fuck me up like that ..call me all the time say they really like me and wonder if I wanna be theirs.. it wasnt like he fucked me and disappeared..no he kept on callin was here just cuttle with me..
I just tell ya its gonna be big problem for him if he cant act like the man he is suppose to be.. I know all people he know and more i am famous here ya dig.. The BIG E is not so big as you think..LOL nah its a smalltown..
but who cares noone shall accept being treated like they aint worthy a answer a call..
we will see what will happen........

A CLOSEUP!!!