Why Am I

Always making up excuses for someone I like when they behave like shit?
Is this "the take care of, love me forever" syndrome? even if it is.. I make up excuses in my head why people act and baheve badly.. especially against me.. why Cant I just think and accept this one is a jerk a real fucker and he doesnt deserve you?.. no I cant and that probably is becouse of my chaildhood..
I SOOOO wanna MR L but well hmm to be real honest he do act like shit.. He havent called and I havent hear any sign from him that his is even alive.. Ya know He doesnt call or answer to anyone, But me Iam special ..He have been intimite with me.. and that means ALOT to me..
Maybe he do this out of revange.. when I just dissed him.. But that was cause I wasnt ready...
Oh damm it doesnt mather how much I think of this I cant get the answer anyway..
But as hard as it is to admit it... I feel hurt.. and I did let it happen once again..

Now am I going to get some unnatural sun in the solarie.. then its Kids day today so ..its gonna be alot of walking outside in tha sun..

God thanks for my kids if I hadnt have got them I dont know how things in my life would have been...<3>