the inner me...

is a scared shadow...
wanna hide ...
i dont deserve it ...iam a good person but theres men who are to good for me..and thats how I feel for MR Smile..
I feel ugly and like a poor single mom who are on the botton of the comunity..
and what have I to offer him?
yes maybe I have a really big heart maybe I really are emotional and can show love ..maybe I am careing and unselfish...maybe Iam a really positive spirit who always make other people feel good..
But I think thats not enough...Me are NOT enough... and the inner me the black shaow cries and feel unworthy love from men who are stable who are normal who arnt criminal who are hard working men and good fathers...
This is where my past do it self connected between my brain and heart..
This is where I feel like Iam a big failiure a mistake ...
this is where the inner me comes to the light...
I have a really bad confidance and Iam really messed up cause things in my past have hurt me and put me in to much control..
My bad confidance make me to push others away..
But this time I am more grown more mature and this time I realize what the problem is... the question is am I gonna be brave?????????? am I gonna manage this.. me the UGLY one?