sometimes ..

I just feel like I wanna die.. lay in the bed under my blanket and never wake up again..
Now I have this feeling and I know its not llike me.. BUT I cant help this feeling I have for this MR L..
IF he only said go to hell or something..he could just tell me he dont want me.. ANYTHING! but this is just a long damm painful waiting..and that kills me from the inside...
I go nervous and I go crazy... I cant stop thinking of it and thats tears me down for every min....
I cant understand why?? what?? how ?? where??
I want answers and I cant have em.. how much I beg for em.. This is the first time in my whole life I have been treated like this.. a deadful, painful silence.. a silence that makes people insane..
I know Iam rough and hard sometimes but this can break any ass down ...

WTF! The worrie will soon be replaced with anger and then sometime somewhere somehow I will meet his sorry little ass up and then he will spit it to me weather he like it or not! ... Maybe I will even slap his face .. cause a little boy deserves to be spanked when he have been bad..ya dig?? I mean how can I treat this disrespectfullness?? AM I just gonna sit at my phat ass smile and accept the fact ghow he played me? how he just like the hunt after me? and then there wasnt funny no more he just gave the shit about me?

Right now I feel soo ALONE ...and I can never TRUST any man AGAIN ... all my experiances have give me scares and my heart is soured...
WHATS wrong with MEN? whats wrong with people???? is it HARD to tell the truuuuuth????????????...damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm
I cry over someone who is invisible...