so wut up???!

MR P is coming 2 me again! sunday is tha day..
Iam in luuuuve.. yeah fo sure.. he really make me feel tipsy all day long without being it you know!!
He is just like me in the personality..and that is GREAT! cause I really love my own me..

Everyday he calls and that just make my heart goes boom...
So wut we gonna do? well I guess we do the same as last time.. talk and just enjoy eachothers company and alot of kissing ofcourse.
I cant wait until he comes.. and I feel like I never want it to end..
But as a woman who have give her self one time before and got very hurt emotional I am SCARED...
I do trust him cause he havent give me any reason not too but still I dont trust him .. Iam 2 scared.. Iam afraid of what could happen if I expose my self..
SO AFRAID...
its hard but its so amazing... I feel good but down.. I feel like iam in heaven but still I feel like all is just dream.. I live in fear of waking up..

more eating pussy..

for the people.. the men must eat more...the women need to be more eaten..!! This is a true fact, that theres to little oral sex going on between tha sheets..
You dont even have to do it in tha bed u know..
We must put this subject in a higher level..this need to be put out in the air.. THE WOMEN NEED TO BE LICKED!! everywhere anywhere anyhow..! the only thing u need 2 be sure of is that it will take her to heaven and back.. dont give up lick it long..

recomendations to the men.. lick carefully..lightly..slow.. with tha toungue tip!! and we do need tha clit to be stimulated.. thats the point with the hole lickin thing..hihihihihihihih..

GO NOW and practise my adwise and the women aint gonna go around and nag on ya ass!!!

I have seen.. DARK REMAINS

this is the best i have seen in horror in a long time.. it was great..

5 out of 5

I have seen BLACK XMAS

and it was really good.. things aint what it seems to be..

a great horror movie nasty things happen..lol..

the best moments is when they look back to describe wut kinda man he is..

a 4 out of 5

IAM...

SPEACHLESS

1 word to describe you

sweetheart

one time

Someone told me ..
That life should be beutiful, that life should be meaningful, that life would be exciting, that life would not always be wonderful..
Life should last for a long time, and when youre alive you should try it all, when youre young you should try it all..
Life is just a mysterious walk as the death noone knows why we are here noone knows why we disappear..
Life is great with tears and joy, love is the thing that keep us people going hate is the thing that destroyes..
Laughing and wishing for luck, live your life fulfilled to the edge of time cause noone knows how long the time's gonna be for you..
Forgive and forget is the greatest gift of them all...

I miss my grandpa ..love him so much...

baby baby

why cant we just stay together?
why cant we just stay forever?
I wanna roll inside your soul...
to know the things that you need and feel..
everytime youre by my side..
I cant get serious becouse you got me..
cold chill down my spine...
no no more tears show me a smile...
Deep inside..
I know you need it..
Just let it out, and get it on
You gotta feel it
Every time that you're by my side,
Just think it over, I'll make you glad

and sum more...

Ive got my freakum dress on...oh yeah..

wise words

PLAY IT HARD...YOU CANT PRESS REPEAT..LIVE LIFE FOR THE MOMENT!!

BEYONCE is so beutiful in this video.. SUGA MAMA!!!

IF this ..

IS a dream... I dont ever wanna wake up again..<3>

ooo Iam having MR P in my mind all the time.. and he is just like a man shall be..just love the way he looks and the way he ACTS! the personality he have is just wiiho! funny , deep, loving, .. just like me and that says it all;)

ROLL IT!! video of the week..this is SO good!!

I had NO idea

That kissing could make me SO hot...
Making love with the eyes is like you touch the other soul ..it makes my heart grasp for air even though I still breathe..

hands that meets for the first time..exploring , touching, making new expressions...

Life can be so wonderful I wish I could save the best moments in a box put them up and repeat them over and over again when I feel like it..

<3>

me having a laugh attac!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..laughing til I cry:D:D:D

IAM IN LOVE!!

The date with MR P was amazing.. the date went to a whole day that went to over the night that went to another day and then he left today this evening:D:D:DD:D Me is VERY happy!!
I felt the VIBE!!!! And I felt that this is the ONE I have been waiting for:D
He is AMAZING!!! in every fucking WAY!

OH boo my heart beats for you!!!

Build your own Blingee

Awww me is gettin all hyped ova here...2morrow Iam gonna meet MR P fo tha first time:D:D:D:D..
Iam excited and although it feels so naturally Iam hyped..
Either way sum is gonna happen.. If he wants me or if his NOT!! lol..
I already know.. but thats gonna be a secret .. when The day has passed Iam gonna let you all know.!
This hottie is just so damm funny..but I must see have all sides u know..:! You gotta be various around me..
But as I said I already know wut I want!!!


So the last month have been like a real ride fo me.. date new men and meet new people..
The most important I have learned..is... 2 never trust anyone when it comes 2 certain things..
That Iam ONE mans woman..And I dont like this all dating stuff. .. That Iam after stability a man who I can love and a family cause The family is all 2 me..
That me and my kids are 1.. if you want me you want my kids too...
That the most important thing is communication and RESPECT sum men doesnt know the words meaning..so maybe we ladies need 2 learn them!!

ON MY WISH LIST

this hoody from Dereon .. luve it..
Beyonce's clothing line is just the hot syte.. Iam gettin all hyped of all her clothes but this one is sooo MEEEEE!!

SILENCE!!!!! listen 2 this and youll understand why people go crazy in RAVE!! so much memories..:D:D:D

bootylicious..!!!

serena williams have tha booty!!!

can you feel...

true happiness if you havent felt real sadness???
can you be able to love if you havent hate? ..
can you feel real safe if you havent feel unsafe?
The prettiest things in my eyes couldnt be real pretty if I hadnt experianced the worst ugly...
I could not feel how to have a home if I havent been away...

You can never get high If you havent been real LOW!

me as a DOLL... a Greek Godess

this is new shyte! hi hi

So tomorrow ME is gonna get sum big company from the capital.. Its tha MR P thats gonna visit my ass for tha first freakin time..
Yeah I feel freaky when it comes through my mind.. I feel all tensed..
First thing comes first and if all feels right Iam gonna give my self and stop being on the single market ...lol
I have realized HUNTING aint nothing for me.. I dont like it..I like stability and 2 wake up with same man every day..
So I give this is shoot but as I said first thing first and we will see...

When It comes to MR Smile I think Iam just not gonna never ever call him up again.. And when he calls am I gonna tell him that we are just too diffrent... damm I hate to tell stuff like that but its more kind to be honest and not to run away..
Even though he aint mean shyte to me he deserves respect..

If he aint call and he catch me up when Iam with MR P I donno wut to say .. MR P knows it anywayz and thats the most important..

AHHHH he makes my brain go sha la la la laaaaaaaa and that aint common ..
Damm Iam so curious..So tomorrow its tha Day... and now Am I gonna clean up...

everybodys sweetheart Beyonce with Jigga

they are combo!! so HOT!

2 moving forward ..

Can a person be enough educated? can a person be enough self educated that we stop 2 move forward and stand still in our own development?
I think that every day is like an adventure.. you will learn you will grow you will move forward weather you like it or not...
Sum people are scurred 2 death to know that they are movin ,that things changes around them .. the only thing you can do is accept the fact..
This fact doesnt wanna be accepted and this drives people 2 very weird stuff as plastic surgery..as leavin their life partner that they had for 25 years.. They dont wanna be old they dont wanna change..
I aint afraid to grow I aint afraid to develop.. The things that I can admit that Iam afraid of,, is all deseases that come with age.. Iam afraid of gettin 2 loose my self who Iam.. I wanna look and this is very superficial..like I look...I dont wanna be all wrinkle and grey u know..
But this is also a fact that I have to accept..
So I understand that people are afraid.. afraid of changes even though they are naturally and good ..
But as Tupac said "changes are good" and I agree...theres nothing bad that doesnt have any good with it!! thats the truth people...

love is...

LOVE IS LIKE HANDING SOMEONE A GUN...POINTING IT AT YOUR HEART...AND TRUSTING THEM ENOUGH..TO NEVER PULL THE TRIGGER..
THATS LOVE...
TRUST...

Graphics & Layouts

IF I WERE YOU!!!! you gotta love yourself and get the best not the second!!

THE WEEKEND

was mostly spent doin shopping ..but also in my friend Tina's moms car...

Home just chilled..and talking on phone and msn.. Mostly with MR P then..hihihihihihi..<3

Friday I bought myself a cam just becouse it was cheap ..someone had returned it and they had changed the prize ALOT!! so worth it..

NO I DONT SHOW MYSELF NAKED IN CAM!!! so stop asking...NO I DONT EVEN FLASH MY BOOBS!!

I have ..

start 2 talk to this guy..MR P ,,he is very much like me.. yes we met on the NET.. well I havent met his fine ass yet, but I will ..He seems like a really intresting person.. The best we got alot in common..
MR Smile is 2 mature 4 me I have realized..and he still got these troubbles with his ex.. I can feel he havent moved on yet..
I need someone who have the same values like me..I need someone mature but still with his sense of humor and the inner chaild in him..
MR P seems like a really good intresting person..fo real! besides he have my style on the outside u know..
The dating part with MR Smile is over..finished.. finito..

HEAVEN!!!

hey ..

So its sat..

Iam thinkin of wut life would and could offer me..

I know this aint what I deserve.. I know life is more,,, I know its not ment 2 be like this,..

So everything changes ass time pass by... People grow ..they get mature...they change both inthe way they see things and the way they belive..

The things I belived in when I was 14 ..arnt the way I belive in now... I have the Values and My values are the same as always.. Those I have gotten from my family ..and sum I have created my self..

Life is an endless road ..and one thing I do know..I dont wanna walk it alone.. I want someone who loves me and respect me to walk it with me..



I can say that I aint searchin for that special someone.. I know he will come 2 me when its time for it...

I have seen Gangbangin fo Life 2006 (Bloods and crips)

this shyte is REALITY!! 2 real fo TV ..thats wassup!! Me being a big Fan of real hood documentairyz.. and this one was good..
people are acting like people do 2 get food on tha table u know.. I FEEL 4 them and they are born in it live it and die in it!!
a blood or a crip? well you choose!

4 out of 5!

Now its loooong weekend!! B.G & C.Murder .my favorite RIGHT NOW!!!

SO

MR niceGuy have said it!! Mr niceGuy have spoken!!! right threw he just blowed it up in my face!!
He wants me..:O.. OOOok I knew it:D
He cant 4 get my lipz.. so maybe Iam gonna teach this nice thing how the hell we Gemini's are in the bed!
I know my lipz are special..both up and down:D
So this is gettin freaky cause I aint do more then one date at time.. I date one...cause Iam one mans woman ONLY!!!
But as I said 2 this one.. I can be ya friend and hang out u know.. nothing more nothing less...
keep it up guys..this bitch is movin fast...LMAO!

mmm SOFT...this is LOVE!!! this make my feelings blow up.. this make my heart beat twice...this is why LOVE is strong!! the gravity...

teardropz..

I can see it in your eyes..
How long can I count the sorrows in your heart...
for how long can I see my own pain reflections in your eyes?
The mirror shine back..there is no picture...
heaven and hell is close ..
The eyes the tears ...ready to fall... ready to drop...
Its in your eyes .. I can see my own pain ...I can see my own rain...
Teardropz fall from the sky from heaven to the hell on this earth...
pain and suffering ...
Your eyes are my mirror...

I have done

the date thiiing..2 day this whole day.. With MR Smile for the 8th time... we did sum talking..we did sum eating..we did sum kissin.. oh yeah ALOT of kissin.....
It was nothin like when we were with the kids..it was so relaxed..
YEEES we did it.. ! the whole time we actually spent in tha bed... OH yes Sexxymami..was all naked and then she slept like a baby.. 4 2 hours.. :O..woked up cause it was freezing cold and I was All naked the hair on my body stood up..
well we went up and just sat and ate some water melon.. I teased him cause he ate the pip..

Me is all exhausted and Now am I gonna chill eat some chicken and fries..with garlic and just be relaxed:PPPPPPPP

So the whole day went by and damm in his company u cant be bored you know.. I laughed alot and I always do ..but even in bed..
My bad confidance blowed away when he looked at my eyes and sad omg you look so HOT mami! I love that ass u have and those eyes make my knees week...
I HAVE THE FUCKIN POWER!!! me like;D

I have

burned up some of my hair..!!! and I am fucked up cause it doesnt smell good..and DAMM I dont wanna have it like this..it was just a bit of my side hair but still... OHHHHHHHHHH God whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???
I feel badly sorry foe my white ass and I want some symphaty... FEEL 4 me...!

I ATE!!!

cheese and ham salad...it was so good!!! Thanxx 2 Pillan

CRAZY IN LOVE

I look and stare so deep in your eyes,I touch on you more and more every time,When you leave I'm begging you not to go,Call your name two or three times in a row,Such a funny thing for me to try to explain,How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame.'Cause I know I don't understand,Just how your love you are doing no one else can.

When I talk to my friends so quietly,Who he think he is? Look at what you did to me,Tennis shoes, don't even need to buy a new dress,If you ain't there ain't nobody else to impress,The way that you know what I thought I knew,It's the beat my heart skips when I'm with you,But I still don't understand,Just how the love you are doing no one else can.

Be Geezy do it sooo GOOD!! damm I LOVE YOU PAPI!!!

freedom..

Is 2 be able to say what u wanna ...is when u can act how u wanna...when u are not refused to be who u are...
Freedom is to show love ..when U cant... freedom is 2 get love even if you dont deserve it...
Freedom is trust...when U feel the trust u feel more free..

The hottest woman on the planet ...BEYONCE!!! @ NBA all star game!!

this day ...

was special.. :D Iam about to be a Godmother for the first time in october some day..hihi..
So this day we went to see the baby through ultrasound..OMG!! the baby sucked on his thumb,,.,yes I say his cause I belive its gonna be a BOY!!!
OH yes It was beutiful ...!!! I was so hooked by the screen I wanted to see more ..!
Iam sooo excited..! maybe more then the mommy hi hi:)
well Iam just crazy in kids and babies are the cutest ever...I long for the day Iam gettin my own little baby..but until then this is gonna be the little one and he will always be my Godson..
Maybe it is a girl I dont mind:D Iam Happy whatever it is just its healthy and feel good u know..

I worked my ass at the gym 2.. my legs feel like spaghetti..all soft lol..

I eat

hunk of the day ...

Javiier u r the hottest man.. mmm sexy hot latino..the swedish girlz is going 2 get crazy ova u fine ass

my heart

could have stopped the minutes he kissed my lipz.. he touched my neck softly with his lips.. he bite my ears like he ate something very tenderly..in my mind my imagination was runnin free.. it was HOT!
then he stopped cause the kids come runnin in the room... as soon as they left he started ...slowly with his inner confidant existance 2 touch my head...he looked me in my eyes while he teasefully bite my under lip.. softly he let it go.. with a smile that could melt the ice in Antarktic and with playful brown eyes with a glow like starz only have he said...- so I have missed you, when am I gonna be alone with you?
I could feel my cheeks got all blushy and as usual I twisted my hair like a crazy bitch...
-when ever..just call I said with a smile and then I giggled like I always do...

this man make me blush... this man make me feel insecure...thats sick.. and damm iam nervous 4 tha day ill be alone with him..this wednesday its gonna happen..

KISS MEEEEEEEEE ...my lipz

today

MR Smile is coming ova 2 my house..damm Iam nervous.. I just want him need 2 see him... Its been awhile since ..This time Iam gonna be relaxed and just forward 2 him...
NO sex..hihi... but forward in tha body language...Im me and if he cant handle it theres the door..

And when I close my eyes my confidance is there... when I open them when he is around it has blown away..:S

I will hit up with more later... MUHAZZZ 2 all of ya... Sexxymami aka PimpMama..is spreadin some swedish LUUUUVE!!! holla...

Wut got me mad?

• being accused false
• get blame for sum I dint do..
• false people...
• people who dont belive me..
• people who wanna change others
• people who only cares about the outside..
• people who judge..
• mean people ..
• slow people who have their brain but they act stupied...

wise words

life is like a hard dick suck it out and it will be soft tease it and it will stay hard 4 eva

from moments

to eternity ... silence and breathing who end up in lost air...
Between us are the space ..between other minds and spirit...so much are are filled in the corners..
why is the air so soft...when it softly touch my skin ..I close my eyes pretend its your hands who give me the touch..
once the heart is open its ready to close... a moment who could end up til eternity..

I recomend AKON... african westside the official mixtape

this one is great... songtrack number 16 In your eyes.. Is beutiful poetry with his angel voice...

I LIKE...

red wine..

I have seen Haunted Highway..

Dont see it!! it only takes up ya time...and time is money.. so DONT!!! u will be so disappointed... Cant they do scary movies anymore? this shit cant be called scary/horror or anuthing like it...

This is just a nap-bed time story 4 me..

1 out of 5

I have seen Little Man

this sit is the funniest ever..!!! who the hell comes up with this??? OMG I laughed SOOOO much... see this no regrets...ya'll gonna luve it!

The best is the little man with a BIG dick..LMAOo look at it!!

This is 5+

I have seen EPIC movie...

It was really funny!!! it have it all... My favorite moments were on tha boat wit the girls.. and crib in Narnia... well done movie and funny..

I give it a 5 out of 5 ...moe Epic movies 4 tha people..:D

The saturday..

was all spent with family and good friends... A half bottle of redwine and sexxymami was all like herself again..:)

cause the sense and touch of the fridays activitys kept on blurring insida my head... I had a hungova and I havent had one since like I was 15.. lmaoO... so mezzed up is the word...

I miss MR Smile!!! I havent seen him since tuesday?! and soon my period is ova and I need sum loooooooooooove... I wanna have babies and alot and alot of LOVE!
I have called me though just 2 check up with me...and I have called him.. He says alcohole isnt good for ya..I feel him..
So does this mean that Iam about to gettin all healthy going to soccer every weekend and look at him when he judge em out ...yeah he work as that in his free time ..he is a soccerLover...
he is a health freak and works extra at the local Jail..lOl... But thats what Im talkin about I need a grown man with his physical in shape so he can DO me ...wiiihoooo..
The age doesnt mather 2 me.. Iam all open , its tha freakin way they act in.. and if we get along or not..
So its ben not so intresting weekend 4 me.. but Ill get with it.. and at least the people I hung with had their blasts...YOU know..they were close 2 me and when they are they feel like they are in heaven...LMAOo

friday night... Sexxymami...was kinda shitty..

lookin all hard dont ya think???!!!!!!!!!

I aint mad at cha....this one make me realize that life is 2 short..!!!!!! hope I see tupac in heaven!!!

I did

a mistake...shouldnt have sent that sms.. DAAAAAAAAAAAAMM
he didnt answered at the way I thought he was going to do..big mistake...huge...

I know he is a true combo for me.. but damm if he cant bare his inner then I cant even talk 2 him...
I know its hard to trust people I have that problem 2 but you must open up and give some attention to the other...
Right now Iam kinda hard cause I relate it all to MR L ...who buy the way is a big asshole and yes I have talked 2 him ..and I hung up in his ear..

But baby pleeeeeeeeeaze... aiiii.. give it 2 me..

LOVE this one...

He called me..

and when he did my tummy felt like wiiiihoooooo..
well he is working day and night...so it havent been anymore dating...but he will call me when he get back and then he gonna take me out..
just sent him a sms..then right after i regret i did.. I hate when I left my self just out like that..I wont even tell you what I said and what words but I can say ...It wasnt like the typical me..you know.. HIHIHIHIH

So this day have sucked...its slow and I took my self a nap and now its late and I aint tired but wtf..I can be up its at the nights it all happen...:D:D:D:D:D:D

Tell me!!?!!

why is the grass green? why is the sun so bright??
why do I feel so warm inside??
why is my head ache??
why do the birds sing?
why are my heart beating so fast?
why cant you hold me in your arms..just hold me there..close right next to your body?
why cant you look into my eyes ..with no fear no regards? why are you too close to my heart?
is this love. that Iam feelin?
is it pain.. Im recieving?
take it back! leave it! or do something...
cause this aint the feeling I wanna recieving

hunk of the day!!

Damm Papi youre a HOTTIE!!!! the gangsta look..and still looking soo soft ..thats wassup!

so

GIMME SOME DAMM ATTENTION!!!!

Oh baby I like it raw...

and rough and soft...and really really hard raw and sweaty..!!!

But I aint gettin all that tonight how much I scream and cry and beg for it cause he aint comin.. and yeah you all know the old fashion me..:)

So I thought this day was suppose to be special like he and me.. without tha kids..just being close to eachother explore without exploreing..if you know what Iam talking about...hihihihih

At least he called but I want attention 24/7 and I wanna have that NOOOOOOOOOOW!!!! I need it...And now I dont get to see that sweet ass of his until thursday...He better call me tomorrow or else ..LOL

this is good cleaning music!!!

this day is all about ..

cleaning... the whole apartment..maybe I have some guests here tonight...hihi...
damm its unbeliveble how well you can get along with people that you havent even known before...sometimes words dont speak...the only thing that mathers are the present of eachothers.. when the silence dont feel unbareble then the relation is natural and meant to be..

My heart

my heart is for you..
my heart is true..
just place it there in your hand...
just take care of it and it will never end..
it will beat only for you...
I promise you..
forever and ever for every beat it take..
into eternity into every breath you make..
keep it close keep it closer...
cause there it will stay like a treasure..

this is real good and soft music.... Babyface is one of my favorites.. didnt find another Vid...

this night I have been ...

at MR Smiles crib.. I brought my kids and he had his there...we all got along so goooooooood..hihihihi I had my first kiss and damm he can do his thing... I belive we are a great match-combo...
he is really nice and good with kids... and his apartment looked GREAT!!
Now its late and iam about to sleep...
and I dont feel low..MUAHZ

bootylicous....

asses are a nice thing!!!

NO doubt...

That sometimes there is more then just destiny...
Yesterday when I felt really LOW and wrote my last thang in here.. I turned the computer off and went to bed..
2 min. later it called I was hmmm who is it... cause there was number either..I answered and there he was AGAIN! MR Smile he just wanna to call to hear how I was doin and he wanna tell me that he missed me and thought of me..:)
I was like is he sent to me from God or whatt??!!!
he is like a mindreader.. at least when it comes to me...I really really do belive that he is meant to be with me..
And all I can think about that cause my bad confidance is who he was married to before...
damm am I wicked or whatt??
Yeah I can say like this...he was married to this woman who he have kids with who are a diffrent nationality then me and she and me are soooooo diffrent when it comes to our looks...and then I think what the hell is he see in me?? compare to her I must look like a giant with the uglyest face... NO I havent seen her... But I have the feeling ya know?
And yeah I know its all becouse of my own unsecurity... my bad confidance... BUt as I told my friends IF he sayz any negativity about my look or body its BYE BYE... theres actually MEN who loves a girl with a little fat on her body and a phat ass..
And he cant tell me anything I dont ready know..
Besides Iam the young one here and he is the older so ...maybe his confidance aint good either... except DAMM he do look like 10 years younger and he is soo fine..

I feel

really really low.. and I cant suceed in any way ......
just wanna hide from all people in the whole world..
and This have MR L caused... even though I aint even thinkin of him.. he put big shit in my head and he didnt even said any but it was he did and didnt...
I feel low and now my day is over... Iam gonna lay in bed and just be someone I wanna be in my dreams...

the inner me...

is a scared shadow...
wanna hide ...
i dont deserve it ...iam a good person but theres men who are to good for me..and thats how I feel for MR Smile..
I feel ugly and like a poor single mom who are on the botton of the comunity..
and what have I to offer him?
yes maybe I have a really big heart maybe I really are emotional and can show love ..maybe I am careing and unselfish...maybe Iam a really positive spirit who always make other people feel good..
But I think thats not enough...Me are NOT enough... and the inner me the black shaow cries and feel unworthy love from men who are stable who are normal who arnt criminal who are hard working men and good fathers...
This is where my past do it self connected between my brain and heart..
This is where I feel like Iam a big failiure a mistake ...
this is where the inner me comes to the light...
I have a really bad confidance and Iam really messed up cause things in my past have hurt me and put me in to much control..
My bad confidance make me to push others away..
But this time I am more grown more mature and this time I realize what the problem is... the question is am I gonna be brave?????????? am I gonna manage this.. me the UGLY one?

SUNDAY DINNER!!

some pasta with bolognese.. Italian food is never wrong..

My Sisters best friend Sofia is playin ..LOL friday night..

One of the best home girls ..and like a extra sister..Pillan

sittin and take some coffee after shopping... this was friday..

memories... this is Xzibits best song ever..

MyHotComments / HotFreeLayouts

there be..

I often told myself that we could be more then just friends...
I know you think that if me move to fast it will all end...
I live in misery when you are not around..
I wont be satisfied til we take it some time...
there be some love making.. heart breakin ..soul shakin...
I often told myself this is all faith...
I know you think its us who makes this what it is...
I live in my fantazies when I think of you...
I wont be satiesfied until it all happen in my life...
there be some love makin..heart breakin...soul shakin...

HUNK of the day...

the Dj who have it all...DJ CLUE!!

baby I got yaaaaaaaaaaa POEM FROM -04

AND IAM GOING TO KEEP YA..
I WILL CHERISH YA..
LOVE YA...
RESPECT YA..
GIVE YOU TRUST..
GIVE MY SELF...
FROM THE DEEPEST OF MY HEART...
IAM GOING TO MAKE THIS...
I WONT FALL APART...
IAM FOR YOU...I WILL SHOW YOU

hey babe..

this day have been really intrested...
This mornin ...MR Smile called .. and asked if we could meet... Ofcourse me myself and I said YES...
Well we met and before we did I asked if he wanted to meet me alone or if my friends could hang on.. and he said it didnt mather.. So he was very confidant.. talked and YEEEEEEEEYO his eyes are like killin meeeeeeeeeee...
they are sooo fine..
we talked most about him since Iam the master of questioning..
when I was gonna leave I said bye have it good and then I gave him a hug... he kissed me at my cheek... hihihihihi ..Sexxymami felt very GOOOOOOOOD,,..

then we saw the MR L and my friend ofcourse told him loud and clear that "she have been on a date" he was like ...whatt!!!
LOL
eat it mothafucka!!! lil homeboy...well He aint a man..he is a momas BOY!!

memories..NEW YORK... Jarule got the best voice .. damm this voice get me all shivering..

THE MR L ...

AINT a mysetria he is just a real unconfidant man who have very much troubbels in his head...
I belive it all happens for a reason and NOW his chance have passed by..
BUT ..all I can say I regret I gave my fine ass Punane to that man.. ya dig? It has been nothin but troubble and I hate stuff like that...
Well I hope he will never call me again.. then I dont have to tell him to go to hell.. or maybe crawl into his own ass..

Soon its weekend and Iam thinkin of gettin shitty and just be the real me doing my thang and have a good time.. or maybe just take it easy and lay in bed and watch stupied dvd's...

THANK GOD...

for PAINKILLERS...

poem #2

I love you one I love you more..
I'll love you til my heart loves sore..
but, dont promise forever it only brings doubt..
dont promise what your not so sure about...
so sweet the look you give my eyes..
stare until the sparkle dies..
and if some how our fire smothers..
and we are somehow no longer lovers..
you will still dwell deep inside...
deep in me the fire grows wide...
claiming all thats of my heart...
it would be safe to say I would fall apart...

TODAY IAM THIS HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUHAZZZZZZZZZZ!!

I keep it GANGSTA!!! do tha giggin bitches!! .. B.G keep it gangsta..

hunk of the day ...

cutieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

B.G as one in the HOT BOYZ crew..the Cash money is his expression and he is from tha hot New Orleans,, one of tha best rapper in the game..

I know ...

what I wanna..and I wanna what I want!

ONE really good summer feeling song..YEAH!!

the worst thing...

I dont know what MR SMILE's name is for real thats sick... cause niether one of us could hear what it was..LMAO...

last night

did MR L call.. And suddenly I feel better.. Now I have come to realize I dont need a man like that so I will tell him BYE BYE...
Its not like me gonna end up all alone ya dig?! not to brag.. but theres many fish in the ocean .. lol
well MR SMILE did came up to me today when me and my friends all hooked up at the Centra of THE big E... Its the square ..here all people hook up when its nice weather..
Well I have never spoke to this man.. just seen him like in everyplace where I have been the two last weeks.. The first time I saw him I was like GOD DAMMIT!!!
Well he have looked and smiled and I have done it back and so today he came walking ova the square ..
We sat at the coffee house and just chilled outside in tha sunny weather... I waved to him and was like "hiiiiiiiii".. lol
He came to me and asked how everything was going and we talked for a while then he asked if we could take some coffee someday and he asked after my phone number... I gave it to him with a smile on my face .. I felt like this man who is soooo gorgous yes I promise u ..he is sooo HOT!! wanna go out with meeeeeee...
All my gurls was like damm gurl you got it going...:) '
I belive he is from poland or Bosnia-Hertzegovina... well something like that..but he is just A ..THE HOTTIE!!
so my mood today is nothing like it was yesterday.. And I donno what happen to me, I had it promised to my self to never let anyone dis me like that again.. and look what happen...
well now its my turn cause this between me and MR L will never get a serious relation after this.. Yeah maybe Iam sensitive but he did disrespect me.. And a man who do that this earlie will do it more and more...
So SEXXYMAMI will keep movin.. I dont have the name for nothin..

sometimes ..

I just feel like I wanna die.. lay in the bed under my blanket and never wake up again..
Now I have this feeling and I know its not llike me.. BUT I cant help this feeling I have for this MR L..
IF he only said go to hell or something..he could just tell me he dont want me.. ANYTHING! but this is just a long damm painful waiting..and that kills me from the inside...
I go nervous and I go crazy... I cant stop thinking of it and thats tears me down for every min....
I cant understand why?? what?? how ?? where??
I want answers and I cant have em.. how much I beg for em.. This is the first time in my whole life I have been treated like this.. a deadful, painful silence.. a silence that makes people insane..
I know Iam rough and hard sometimes but this can break any ass down ...

WTF! The worrie will soon be replaced with anger and then sometime somewhere somehow I will meet his sorry little ass up and then he will spit it to me weather he like it or not! ... Maybe I will even slap his face .. cause a little boy deserves to be spanked when he have been bad..ya dig?? I mean how can I treat this disrespectfullness?? AM I just gonna sit at my phat ass smile and accept the fact ghow he played me? how he just like the hunt after me? and then there wasnt funny no more he just gave the shit about me?

Right now I feel soo ALONE ...and I can never TRUST any man AGAIN ... all my experiances have give me scares and my heart is soured...
WHATS wrong with MEN? whats wrong with people???? is it HARD to tell the truuuuuth????????????...damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm damm
I cry over someone who is invisible...

Poem #01

Love hold me until I dissapear...
and scrape away my only fear...
your words are like a drug to me..
I can hear your love but barely see..
sit for hours and talk all night..
and when we kiss it feel so right..
your gentle grasp I wish to keep..
its safe to safe to say ive been fallen asleep..
a dream with you to never awake..
so spare my heart that you will take..

DEAR GOD...WOULD YOU SEND ME AN ANGEL?????

The sexxy back of Beutyful BEYONCE

The mysteria with my finger...

wasnt so mysterious at all..
The DR told me I must have got something in it he cut it up and squeezed out tha fluid with some blood.. It hurted like hell but I didnt want tha shoot to make the pain go away.. it was done in like 4 sec...
Then he said it was gonna be alright by it self... well we see about that.. I dont trust DR especially not the ones who work at the duty calls...

SO now I need someone to kiss my finger so I can feel better...or kiss me somewhere else..lol

something weird happen

with my finger it got all swollen and filled with this fluid.. I pressed it out and damm it hurts..
POOR ME!!!
maybe I need to see a DR for some medications..its an infection..and I have NO idea how it become like that.. its a mysteria..

A CLOSEUP!!!

does IT excist???

Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, and/or compatibility.
A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join.
However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations; they are sometimes used simply as an expression of strong emotional feeling for someone.

something/nothing/anything

I can be alone but I dont wanna be lonely..
I can be sad but I dont wanna be hurt...
I can be free but I dont wanna be left alone..
I can be trusted but I do wanna people to care..
I can be open but I still wanna be myserious..
I can be chaildish but I still wanna be treated like an adult...
I can be dreamin but I can still take the truth...
I can wish alot but I still want my life..
I can be all in love but I still dont wanna be used...
I can be all those things and I still dont want you to change me...

best song right this moment...

are you a real man or a boy???

When someone is in the age of 34 I actually think he is mature enough to be straight real and open...
When someone is 34 they can call themselves MEN! if they act like it...
When it comes to MR L I wonder is he man or a boy??? we will see later today cause a real man can answer if he wanna be with me or not, not sit there all quiet and dont give a shit about things they have started..
Well he wont even be a boy in my eyes he will be a bitch ya dig a real ass Pussy! Damm I hate pussy ass men .. and even though I do I always end up in unluckly game with men who are bigger pussys then me and I have a reason to be a pussy I have one!!
this is latest news...
MR L called at my best friends home number in the middle of the night cause he doesnt got her new so she called him from it just to see if he did answer but ofcourse he didnt.. He did call her up like more then one day later in the night.. when her husband answered he hung up...did he recognize tha voice or whatt? well they could see it was from his phone number so..
Now I snt him a sms like where are we standing can you holla back to me... this is the last one cause tomorrow he will get some company at his work IF he doesnt answer..ya dig? he will loose ALOT if he cant be a man.. he will never be able to find himself a girl in this town again..lol Maybe a hoe though..
Yeah I have power here and NOONE just fuck me up like that ..call me all the time say they really like me and wonder if I wanna be theirs.. it wasnt like he fucked me and disappeared..no he kept on callin was here just cuttle with me..
I just tell ya its gonna be big problem for him if he cant act like the man he is suppose to be.. I know all people he know and more i am famous here ya dig.. The BIG E is not so big as you think..LOL nah its a smalltown..
but who cares noone shall accept being treated like they aint worthy a answer a call..
we will see what will happen........