today I have been talking to the police and for the first time in years I feel like they understand me..
They are gonna fix this thing so my ex cant come near me or try to contact me .. if he do its straight to jail.. We'll see how its all gonna be.. but I know this is gonna make him reaaaaaal PISSED! he will try to kill me I can promise that but when he does iam gonna be prepared .. I will just dial the police and they will come catch him..I hope..
Iam gonna rearrange my apartment now ..its gonna be nicer.. and more comfortable..
I wont let him put me down..and I will never crawl in the mudd for him.. he have the problems and not me so ..
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I have been..
lookin at some tv...slept and watch some music videos on my Lap Top wich Iam very happy I bought!!! I can lay in bed alltime and still writing this..lol
So everybody should buy em self a LapTop its sooooo worth the cash!
Poor me ..sick..have a crazy ex that wanna kill me.. what else can happen???
Iam gonna lay here just feel so damm sorry for my self and watch some goodies..
So everybody should buy em self a LapTop its sooooo worth the cash!
Poor me ..sick..have a crazy ex that wanna kill me.. what else can happen???
Iam gonna lay here just feel so damm sorry for my self and watch some goodies..
Today I woke up..
just feeling so bad... I have fever and pain in my throat.. I would really really need some hunny to take care of me now.. A sexy man with brown eyes just laying beside me and keep me warm..
Damm I need to find myself a boyfriend..I need some LUUUUVE!!
But why am I so picky..I could have 10 by this moment but theres always something wrong ..and I just need to feel the mutural attraction..
Iam going back to bed.. have some nice fever dreams..
Damm I need to find myself a boyfriend..I need some LUUUUVE!!
But why am I so picky..I could have 10 by this moment but theres always something wrong ..and I just need to feel the mutural attraction..
Iam going back to bed.. have some nice fever dreams..
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
sweeeeeety.....
sweety you are so sweet...
your lips are like fudge I wanna eat them all day..
your toungue is like a soft feather that tickels mine..
your eyes are like a deep well ...they are filled with emotions...
baby your skin is like the softest silk and I wanna touch it over and over...
youre warm but you aint burnin me..youre cold but you cant cool me down..
you share your deepest thoughts and I cant judge you I only feel for you..
You tell me all but I cant be mad at you..
you have the power..the greatest of them all...
your lips are like fudge I wanna eat them all day..
your toungue is like a soft feather that tickels mine..
your eyes are like a deep well ...they are filled with emotions...
baby your skin is like the softest silk and I wanna touch it over and over...
youre warm but you aint burnin me..youre cold but you cant cool me down..
you share your deepest thoughts and I cant judge you I only feel for you..
You tell me all but I cant be mad at you..
you have the power..the greatest of them all...
why is the life like this?
does always the best and good people die first? why does always bad things happen to good people while the bad can have it so great?
is it that the baddest are the strongest? and the good just week that they fall victims for all shit in the world?
What are the world going to be like if this continue?
sometimes I just feel like the faith in good humanity drops...it drops like a stone in the water and lie there at the botton waitin for someone to pick it up.. my heart feels empty and I feel lost..
I have been through so much shit in the life that Iam surprised, Iam surprised over how people can be so evil and so hateful.. Aint the good gonna win over the bad and evil?
One thing I know is that life aint a movie how bad I even wish and want it to be...
is it that the baddest are the strongest? and the good just week that they fall victims for all shit in the world?
What are the world going to be like if this continue?
sometimes I just feel like the faith in good humanity drops...it drops like a stone in the water and lie there at the botton waitin for someone to pick it up.. my heart feels empty and I feel lost..
I have been through so much shit in the life that Iam surprised, Iam surprised over how people can be so evil and so hateful.. Aint the good gonna win over the bad and evil?
One thing I know is that life aint a movie how bad I even wish and want it to be...
my plans..
i will move soon to another apartment closer to my mother and closer to all my friends..:)
The only bad about it is that I will leave my little south side and join the north.. well I dont care I just wanna feel safe and I think it will be better havin alot of people around me and closer to my family..
Actually I feel like I some light in the future maybe all aint that bad at all.. I mean I wont give up lettin he control my life.. And I will never ever have the thought about gettin back together with him just becouse everything would calm down.. NO!! he cant force me to anything! and Iam planning on go back to school gettin me some more education climb higher and then it will be easier to move someday....
The only bad about it is that I will leave my little south side and join the north.. well I dont care I just wanna feel safe and I think it will be better havin alot of people around me and closer to my family..
Actually I feel like I some light in the future maybe all aint that bad at all.. I mean I wont give up lettin he control my life.. And I will never ever have the thought about gettin back together with him just becouse everything would calm down.. NO!! he cant force me to anything! and Iam planning on go back to school gettin me some more education climb higher and then it will be easier to move someday....
today was the day with all my friends!!
hangin with my friends doing some shopping looking at clothes.. it was a good day..
The bad was this morning when I went to the police I told them all about my ex threats and how he is crazy.. and then I told them that I feel really unsafe that something will happen to me sooner or later...That I aint surprised if he will kill me..
The police who was some very not clever man said and what can we do about that? are you gonna live here at the station or what? call 112 if something happen we cant do anything now.. DAMM DAMM DAMM!!!
I knew this was gonna happen and now Iam gonna get more shit from my crazy ex sick ass.. well i will do anything now cause I know I must think about my safety..the kids cant be alone without me and they cant be with him cause he is CRAZY!
I nearly cried and that aint common .. not for a cause like this its only get me mad...but now I am really really scared..PLEASE why cant the police help me? what the hell is wrong with those motherfuckers?
I am really glad for my friends and family..they support me and help me in every way...but as I said he is damm crazy and he can do whatever..
The bad was this morning when I went to the police I told them all about my ex threats and how he is crazy.. and then I told them that I feel really unsafe that something will happen to me sooner or later...That I aint surprised if he will kill me..
The police who was some very not clever man said and what can we do about that? are you gonna live here at the station or what? call 112 if something happen we cant do anything now.. DAMM DAMM DAMM!!!
I knew this was gonna happen and now Iam gonna get more shit from my crazy ex sick ass.. well i will do anything now cause I know I must think about my safety..the kids cant be alone without me and they cant be with him cause he is CRAZY!
I nearly cried and that aint common .. not for a cause like this its only get me mad...but now I am really really scared..PLEASE why cant the police help me? what the hell is wrong with those motherfuckers?
I am really glad for my friends and family..they support me and help me in every way...but as I said he is damm crazy and he can do whatever..
Monday, January 29, 2007
WIIIIHOOOOOOOOOOO
iam half way of being a virgin again.. that aint bad..
Iam figuering on whos gonna be my first.. YEAH I know!!! but I aint gonna share it cause it aint gonna happen in a while...Iam gonna save myself for that one..
And if it will be love then he will have me you get? if I dont get the feelin it aint gonna happen...
lol.. Iam sure of that some people out there gettin real nosey now.. MUAH!!
Iam figuering on whos gonna be my first.. YEAH I know!!! but I aint gonna share it cause it aint gonna happen in a while...Iam gonna save myself for that one..
And if it will be love then he will have me you get? if I dont get the feelin it aint gonna happen...
lol.. Iam sure of that some people out there gettin real nosey now.. MUAH!!
you know they say..
if you have been without sex for 3 years youre like a virgin again..lol
if a girl say that she have been with 8 men..sha have been with11 at least..
if a man say 8 its like 5...
its a fine line between love and hate and if that line just crosses a bit it becomes hate then if you love and vice versa.
playin with food in the punane will make you have more calories into your body..lol
the vibrator can cause that you loose some feelings when youre havin normal sex..that you'll be out from orgasms..and that the vibrator most go on higher and higher vibrate to make u cum..lol
orals sex gives you an addiction and you cant stop havin it if you once try it..
if a girl say that she have been with 8 men..sha have been with11 at least..
if a man say 8 its like 5...
its a fine line between love and hate and if that line just crosses a bit it becomes hate then if you love and vice versa.
playin with food in the punane will make you have more calories into your body..lol
the vibrator can cause that you loose some feelings when youre havin normal sex..that you'll be out from orgasms..and that the vibrator most go on higher and higher vibrate to make u cum..lol
orals sex gives you an addiction and you cant stop havin it if you once try it..
I want a milkshake too..
I relate this to a real scandalbeuty skinheadxbarbiedoll wrie in her blog!!
she said she want some sperm milkshake...and hell yeah I want 1 to.. mix sperm with some milk and some ice and maybe strawberries...then ready to drink!!
But I'll wait for some good and healthy sperm to flash in front of me..then it will be milkshakes all day weather he like it or not!!!
she said she want some sperm milkshake...and hell yeah I want 1 to.. mix sperm with some milk and some ice and maybe strawberries...then ready to drink!!
But I'll wait for some good and healthy sperm to flash in front of me..then it will be milkshakes all day weather he like it or not!!!
why......
why cant you leave me alone? I dont want you here I dont want you near.. stop callin me..stop messageing me..leave me alone..
why cant you grow up and stop ?
you're destroying for the kids to.. LEAVE ME ALONE!
why cant you grow up and stop ?
you're destroying for the kids to.. LEAVE ME ALONE!
can you call yourself crazy??
- you dont mind gettin all the attention every second
- you have no inhibitions..
- you aint scared of making a fool of yourself
- you could make a scene if the situation demand it..
- you aint ashamed of your body but you know it aint perfect
- you could easily lie to get what you think is important
- you can cry for the next minute laugh
- you have had evil thoughts of killin someone that you hate
- you like violence (movies, sports)
- you have danced slutty on a table
- you have tried drugs
- you had many one night stands
- you like it rough in bed and you like to control the breathin
this is fun crazy..not crazy like you need to get some help..:!!!!
naughty? or not?
The naughty or not test
I took this quiz- The naughty or not test
My Result Was:
You are really naughty.
Take this quiz- The naughty or not test
More Myspace Quizzes on lots of topics.
me on the way out thinkin of something naughty!!
what I have on...
it's a hoody on the hood it's the lyrics from "dont cha " of The Pussy Cat Dolls..
it's a hoody on the hood it's the lyrics from "dont cha " of The Pussy Cat Dolls..
so what about the dreams..
I have been dreamin the same shit for about 1 week now.. It's so sick the end's are almost the same cause it ends and I just woke up..
Well I dream about this man I have never meet, we hang out we talk we never go longer then we kiss.. I have talked alot to this man but as I said I havent meet him yet and I dont know him that well..
So the first time we were at this place a bar in Eskilstuna and I sat on his lap and we did some kissing, then his cell started to ring and then I woked up cause I realized it was my own cell in the reality.. yes that was the first time the second time was 2 days after..
My doorbell rang and it was him..I didnt know it but when I open the door he stood there with this BIG smile on his face.. I was like surprised cause he live far away..
well he came in we drank some coffee started to talk about diffrent stuff.. then we decide cause now its evening that we shall go out ..
we go out to this place and he buy me some drinks.. I feel really drunk and then we start to kiss and Iam like mmmmm ..
Well I dont know why I wake up I just do and I was like DAMM I wanna continue this dream see what will happen..
well it have happen 4 times now and Iam frustrated what can this mean?
Is it me myaself who stop it and wake my self up cause I dont wanna go further? lol..
dreams are real funny!!
Well I dream about this man I have never meet, we hang out we talk we never go longer then we kiss.. I have talked alot to this man but as I said I havent meet him yet and I dont know him that well..
So the first time we were at this place a bar in Eskilstuna and I sat on his lap and we did some kissing, then his cell started to ring and then I woked up cause I realized it was my own cell in the reality.. yes that was the first time the second time was 2 days after..
My doorbell rang and it was him..I didnt know it but when I open the door he stood there with this BIG smile on his face.. I was like surprised cause he live far away..
well he came in we drank some coffee started to talk about diffrent stuff.. then we decide cause now its evening that we shall go out ..
we go out to this place and he buy me some drinks.. I feel really drunk and then we start to kiss and Iam like mmmmm ..
Well I dont know why I wake up I just do and I was like DAMM I wanna continue this dream see what will happen..
well it have happen 4 times now and Iam frustrated what can this mean?
Is it me myaself who stop it and wake my self up cause I dont wanna go further? lol..
dreams are real funny!!
damm damm damm...
so the ex is still crazy and behave like a monkey who cant see the reality for what it is..
Yesterday I decided to be good go up around 8 and get stuff fixed.. that I was going to call my lawyer.. go to the police and do a report against his sorry little ass.. I think he must see proffessional people who can help him, in my eyes his brain is in some psychic crisis, probably cause all of the boose and drugs he have take..
My friends say that he is crazy and they are scared that he is going to do me something.. Well well.. I didnt went up around 8 I was just to tired and when I woke up it was over 10..
Iam going to take care of all of this tomorrow, and I hope the police got something better to offer me then go home and call if he comes around again.. I dont trust them..the swedish police aint hard to those kinda criminals.. and most of the times the crime are headlined as " crime cant prove"..
we'll see cause I have my witness..
Yesterday I decided to be good go up around 8 and get stuff fixed.. that I was going to call my lawyer.. go to the police and do a report against his sorry little ass.. I think he must see proffessional people who can help him, in my eyes his brain is in some psychic crisis, probably cause all of the boose and drugs he have take..
My friends say that he is crazy and they are scared that he is going to do me something.. Well well.. I didnt went up around 8 I was just to tired and when I woke up it was over 10..
Iam going to take care of all of this tomorrow, and I hope the police got something better to offer me then go home and call if he comes around again.. I dont trust them..the swedish police aint hard to those kinda criminals.. and most of the times the crime are headlined as " crime cant prove"..
we'll see cause I have my witness..
Sunday, January 28, 2007
if you?
could be the opposite sex for 1 day what would you do??
this is up 2 you write if you dare!!!!
this is up 2 you write if you dare!!!!
seen the movie..
a good movie.. but I was disappointed cause why's Tupac always the bad guy? who always get killed? he sure was fine as hell..
The whole movie get 4 out of 5 $$$$ ..
The guy who's its allabout was really into his character..
why cant?
people move on.. life goes on and why is that so hard to get? Now I aim at my ex.. he try in every singel way make life so hard as possible.. damm why is he continue his mean game and why is he using the kids to reach at me so he can hurt me?
If he was trying to get me killed I wouldnt be surprised.. cause he is CRAZY..
To all men who try to hurt their ex's-.. damm move on...a woman doesnt need to take it..
If I wanna break up with someone ..someone else cant force me to stay put..
I feel so unsafe cause of his words..his threats.. and I still can remember when he have hit me and kicked my ass.. I aint scared of my self you know I am just afraid of whats gonna happen to the kids if he did me some bad..
I aint gonna let him win..and yes I have been to the police.. It has been calm for a while , but now he is more crazy then ever and the worst is..he yells screams and make the kids feel afraid.. but then he always blame me.. damm must I move to be free from him?
Iam gonna search for legal costidy so I can have the charge of the kids..so he cant come whenever he wants to..
I hate this and the fact that he makes me feel low.. especially when I know that thats just what he wants..
But I aint gonna let him win..
but sometimes I just feel so damm low to that point that I nearly give up.. I feel like I cant take it anymore.. it has been going on for more then 2 years soon..and during our bad relationship it was really really terrible..it was livin hell..
I will move..sometime somewhere somehow.. and then maybe my life will be calm and I can feel safe...
If he was trying to get me killed I wouldnt be surprised.. cause he is CRAZY..
To all men who try to hurt their ex's-.. damm move on...a woman doesnt need to take it..
If I wanna break up with someone ..someone else cant force me to stay put..
I feel so unsafe cause of his words..his threats.. and I still can remember when he have hit me and kicked my ass.. I aint scared of my self you know I am just afraid of whats gonna happen to the kids if he did me some bad..
I aint gonna let him win..and yes I have been to the police.. It has been calm for a while , but now he is more crazy then ever and the worst is..he yells screams and make the kids feel afraid.. but then he always blame me.. damm must I move to be free from him?
Iam gonna search for legal costidy so I can have the charge of the kids..so he cant come whenever he wants to..
I hate this and the fact that he makes me feel low.. especially when I know that thats just what he wants..
But I aint gonna let him win..
but sometimes I just feel so damm low to that point that I nearly give up.. I feel like I cant take it anymore.. it has been going on for more then 2 years soon..and during our bad relationship it was really really terrible..it was livin hell..
I will move..sometime somewhere somehow.. and then maybe my life will be calm and I can feel safe...
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
there's a...
there's a fire burning in my heart...
waiting to explode ..to spread it's warm feeling..
there's a heat in my inside ..
waiting for you to touch.. to make my body cold after years of passion..
there's this feeling I cant give to anyone else but you...
Iam waiting for you to open your heart so I can put it there..
Iam waiting oceans of eternity..clouds of endless time..
Days feels like years and hours feels like they will weeks.. still I keep on waiting...longing for you to put out my fire..give me some ice to cool down with..
so the question is..
do men feel like women? do they have the intense feeling when they are new and madly in love? or are men and women so diffrent that there feelings are diffrent... I mean ofcourse people have and experiances feelings diffrent .. But is it so diffrent that we will never understand eachother complitely?
My experiance tell me that men and women arent so diffrent as we think or belive ..but then also the big WHY? why cant they understand us better then? why do we atleast I feel like a little rabbit who cant speak and noone listen?
I wanna be understood for what I am not for that Iam a female..for my inside ..for what hide inside my heart.. who I never expose..But I want to..
But when everytime I have it always the same ending.. I get mad and upset cause noone actually did understand me..
So how can we be more understanding and be give more attention to others feelings? maybe we can start by listening and not judge.. respect others view of life and respect their words..
My experiance tell me that men and women arent so diffrent as we think or belive ..but then also the big WHY? why cant they understand us better then? why do we atleast I feel like a little rabbit who cant speak and noone listen?
I wanna be understood for what I am not for that Iam a female..for my inside ..for what hide inside my heart.. who I never expose..But I want to..
But when everytime I have it always the same ending.. I get mad and upset cause noone actually did understand me..
So how can we be more understanding and be give more attention to others feelings? maybe we can start by listening and not judge.. respect others view of life and respect their words..
damm why is life so hard?
right now it feels like a pain in the ass.. I can't reach where I wanna reach.. I wanna climb but the rock is just to precipice..
I have my goal where I want to and I can see it so damm clear but I cant manage this on my own, and I cant have anyone to help me ..thats why Iam stuck..
Well Iam gonna start somewhere and I have reach that time of the moment where I realize that .. So today will be the first day of the rest of my life..
I have my goal where I want to and I can see it so damm clear but I cant manage this on my own, and I cant have anyone to help me ..thats why Iam stuck..
Well Iam gonna start somewhere and I have reach that time of the moment where I realize that .. So today will be the first day of the rest of my life..
Thursday, January 25, 2007
wich celeb would match me?
wich celeb would match me ? as a potential partner?Create your own myspace poll
why Iam singel
cause I went through a really bad relationship.. I have become picky and I cant be satisfied with who ever and I must fall in love.. I aint picky how the man look..its his way how he act his style and he must be real confidant..he must have a great mind and be intellectual..
So is this hard to find?? YES! those I have find who matches my whatIwantList.. am I not a inch attracted to theres nothing there..
Is it gettin harder and harder to fall in love and feel that special thing the older you get? well I dont know but it feels like it..
I can be intrested in someone but how can I know if that leads to true love? to date them..well I can but here in sweden theres no dating..The dates aint worth it..
Maybe Iam scared to ..cause in my head I know how hard my last breakup was and I know how crazy my ex is..he could never accept me with another man..
so I know it must be worth it cause I hate all the drama and shit that will come with it..
I wanna fall in LOVE..!! NOW!!
So is this hard to find?? YES! those I have find who matches my whatIwantList.. am I not a inch attracted to theres nothing there..
Is it gettin harder and harder to fall in love and feel that special thing the older you get? well I dont know but it feels like it..
I can be intrested in someone but how can I know if that leads to true love? to date them..well I can but here in sweden theres no dating..The dates aint worth it..
Maybe Iam scared to ..cause in my head I know how hard my last breakup was and I know how crazy my ex is..he could never accept me with another man..
so I know it must be worth it cause I hate all the drama and shit that will come with it..
I wanna fall in LOVE..!! NOW!!
the worst and the best by being SINGEL
worst:
- lonely nights..
- not have the sex whenever where ever..
- not to have someone to spoil..
- not to have someone to kiss for hours..
- not to have that love from someone
- to have the special playing when youre madly in love..
- not haveing that someone in my mind 24-7
- being without giving all my love and careing I have stuffed in my heart
Best:
- have the bed all to my self
- can do what I want to when I want to how I want to..
- can give myself all the attention
- I dont need to explain myself
- my way is the only way..
- no one who argues with me
- I can flirt open and without shame
people on the Internet
of all the people on the Internet that I have talked to during sevral years it aint many that I really connect with..
People seem to lie and people seem to not be serious..
I aint serious all the time either..and I have no thought of most of those people in my real life..
Then theres a few that have really caught my eye , that I really feel connected to and those who make me feel that theres other in this world who are like me..they understand me and I understand them.. I cant say theres many of them I can count to 4 and most of them are in sweden..
Internet is a great place but it's also boring cause you sooner or later have the feeling that you wanna see this people for real hanging out just doing your thing.. the other reason is I getting fed up with all this people who wanna talk to me and who aint got a damm thing to say.. it seems like their brains have take vaicaitions and the only thing they can do is ask me after sexy pics , and NO I aint givin just some stranger a sexy pic of me.. I aint talking dirrty to someone who cant talk about other things in life who I aint feel connected to...
On the internet people should be who they are in the reality but I think alot of people got real issues with who they are , their confidances are on the low ..thats a big shame.. BE YOURSELF!!! and talk about interesting things that other people can relate to..
Dont ask someone you dont know if they wanna see your dick in cam! talk to people and get to know them.. It can be a lifelong friendship...
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
blood is blood..
we have a thing in sweden we say it goes like this... blood is thicker then water.. this means that your family those who share your blood always will come first...
This is hard for me cause mostly of my family really are this way to me but some are not.. Iam always true and honest and the most lojal to my family members.. and in my eyes it's really weird if you're not..and in my heart I feel true pain to find out that a family member aint honest and lojal to me..
It have really hurt me so much in so many ways that I feel I cant forgive..I cant feel the trust or the real love I used too... as I said this is something thats really hard for me to write about or even talk about cause in my heart I still cant understand why?
Am I not worthy the love and respect from all my relatives? why cant they love me? and why have they always wanted me bad?
This is the big sorrow in my heart and I will live with it and die with it...
It doesnt mather how many relatives I have or how many more of them who truely love me and are lojal to me...
Family will always come first to me and I will always continue to be this persons relative but in my eyes I aint and wont be that to this person...
This is like a thing in my brain that never ever will go away...sometimes I just dont think about it but it's still there ...
This is hard for me cause mostly of my family really are this way to me but some are not.. Iam always true and honest and the most lojal to my family members.. and in my eyes it's really weird if you're not..and in my heart I feel true pain to find out that a family member aint honest and lojal to me..
It have really hurt me so much in so many ways that I feel I cant forgive..I cant feel the trust or the real love I used too... as I said this is something thats really hard for me to write about or even talk about cause in my heart I still cant understand why?
Am I not worthy the love and respect from all my relatives? why cant they love me? and why have they always wanted me bad?
This is the big sorrow in my heart and I will live with it and die with it...
It doesnt mather how many relatives I have or how many more of them who truely love me and are lojal to me...
Family will always come first to me and I will always continue to be this persons relative but in my eyes I aint and wont be that to this person...
This is like a thing in my brain that never ever will go away...sometimes I just dont think about it but it's still there ...
they say..
that the pain and things you have to deal with only is a test for whats gonna happen in your next life... and thats gonna be harder.. thats sick.. what am I going to deal with and what kinda shit am I gonna take care of???
that sometimes things you do in this life or are afraid of have been caused by your earlier life.. so if you are afraid of the dark you have experianced some things that caused it..and you will always remember this in your soul...
They say that the same souls are drawn to eachother life after life.. have you ever experianced that you feel to know someone after you just have meet?? after your first meeting have you felt that you just have "klicked" and stayed together since? thats a soul you have known in your past life/lifes...
that sometimes things you do in this life or are afraid of have been caused by your earlier life.. so if you are afraid of the dark you have experianced some things that caused it..and you will always remember this in your soul...
They say that the same souls are drawn to eachother life after life.. have you ever experianced that you feel to know someone after you just have meet?? after your first meeting have you felt that you just have "klicked" and stayed together since? thats a soul you have known in your past life/lifes...
it feels like yesterday...
when we all used to hang.. All we wanted was to have fun.. we had big parties , played poker and video games..we could stay up for days.. we went for long trips in cars.. listen to loud music and went shopping...
we could say and tell anything to eachother.. life was a big big funny place and we had so much we wanted to do...we thought we was protected against the death and we could live forever.. wedidn't worry about anything, we took the time and day as it came.. we werent afraid...
all wanted to hang with us.. we travelled to diffrent places and experianced new stuff together.. we had so much between us and nothing could come between that... I have my funniest memories of my teens together with you..and some of the worst...definaitly the most dangerous ones...
we were kings and queens of Eskilstuna..
we could say and tell anything to eachother.. life was a big big funny place and we had so much we wanted to do...we thought we was protected against the death and we could live forever.. wedidn't worry about anything, we took the time and day as it came.. we werent afraid...
all wanted to hang with us.. we travelled to diffrent places and experianced new stuff together.. we had so much between us and nothing could come between that... I have my funniest memories of my teens together with you..and some of the worst...definaitly the most dangerous ones...
we were kings and queens of Eskilstuna..
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
MY BEST AND FASTEST COMMENT 2-DAY
my sister alexandra found money outside ..look what I found she yelled...
-Yes it was your boyfriend who through it there as thanx for the night ... I said ...loooool..
she even laughed...:))
-Yes it was your boyfriend who through it there as thanx for the night ... I said ...loooool..
she even laughed...:))
Freakiest of the day
I was the one who caught some people in my laundrey haveing 6.. they were allover eachother...lol.. that was freaky and nasty.. !!
I was like oh sorry .. hahahahah lol .. why the hell am I sorry for?? next time Iam gonna ask if they are haveing a good time..
I was like oh sorry .. hahahahah lol .. why the hell am I sorry for?? next time Iam gonna ask if they are haveing a good time..
why??
why cant more people adopt kids?? If I could I would sure do it..
There's so many kids without parents living on the streets.. are forced into the adults life and living,.. they have to survive so they must sell their bodies or do crimes to eat.. They are totally alone in this world and havent a safe home a bed or someone to hug them when they are sad..
WHY cant people make this STOP???
there are kids who starve to death every day while people in other parts of the world throw away food and doesnt even feel shame for it...
I think about this alot and I have tried to help as much as I can.. giving away clothes.. give some money when I can..
My dream is to adopt a kid or sevral from poor countrys to give em love and a safe home..
Everyone should consider this and take the opportunity to do it, it will save a chaild from a living hell..
There's so many kids without parents living on the streets.. are forced into the adults life and living,.. they have to survive so they must sell their bodies or do crimes to eat.. They are totally alone in this world and havent a safe home a bed or someone to hug them when they are sad..
WHY cant people make this STOP???
there are kids who starve to death every day while people in other parts of the world throw away food and doesnt even feel shame for it...
I think about this alot and I have tried to help as much as I can.. giving away clothes.. give some money when I can..
My dream is to adopt a kid or sevral from poor countrys to give em love and a safe home..
Everyone should consider this and take the opportunity to do it, it will save a chaild from a living hell..
THINGS THAT I COULD NEVER LIVE WITHOUT
- cottage cheese
- lipgloss
- eggs
- chewing gum
- oliw oil
- Toni and Guy hair products
- music
- my cell
- MTV
- warm water
- taco mix
- my tweezer
- horror movies
GUESS WHAT THIS IS...lol
- it is very high protein in it
- they say its good for you skin
- it taste very special
- it can be in diffrent consistance
- the coular is mostly white
- this is the reward from a job
what is it??
Monday, January 22, 2007
Happiest thought of the day...
I thought of paint a line on my mother...but then I realized she wouldnt have appriciate it.. not like me..LMAO..
WEIRDEST OF THE DAY
A man called and said ..-hi its from American Pizza...you have order 10 large pizza..something.. and I know this cause it was from your number..
I was like what the .... -no I havent ..I think you make awfull discusting pizza..
he continued...-well its from this number..
-well I havent so now you are whey wrong...
then he just said ..-sorry and hung up.. this was someone who were kidding with me...or not.. Iam curious so I think of planning to call em up tomorrow and ask...lol
And If it was serious Iam gonna charge em for money cause I aint callin them after pizza.. Its a shame that they can call em self American Pizza.. The pizza's taste like.. not good..
I was like what the .... -no I havent ..I think you make awfull discusting pizza..
he continued...-well its from this number..
-well I havent so now you are whey wrong...
then he just said ..-sorry and hung up.. this was someone who were kidding with me...or not.. Iam curious so I think of planning to call em up tomorrow and ask...lol
And If it was serious Iam gonna charge em for money cause I aint callin them after pizza.. Its a shame that they can call em self American Pizza.. The pizza's taste like.. not good..
FUNNIEST OF THE DAY
My friend who works in a store where I got some sallad.. 1 other friend was with me and stood in front of me of the line when we were going to pay for the stuff..
My friend who workes in the store sat there and mixed all the stuff together.. mine with hers...and the girl who stood after me did he thought was my stuff... AND still it was sticks between every persons stuff...like next person sign..
I was like ...what the fuck have you smoked??? loooool..
My friend who workes in the store sat there and mixed all the stuff together.. mine with hers...and the girl who stood after me did he thought was my stuff... AND still it was sticks between every persons stuff...like next person sign..
I was like ...what the fuck have you smoked??? loooool..
LOL
Freedom aint in a box ...
you cant get moisture from a cream that content alcohole...
There isnt real lemon in the dishwasher stuff..
It's still other sugar in the light coke...
You have like less then 1% chance winning the lottery to be millionairy...
You can't have any job you want cause you have the right connections...
And men dont have 1 less rib ...(God created Eve from a rib from Adam)
You cant get lifelong thin going on some diet for a month..
Woman only have a certain numbers of eggs...
you cant suffer about something you have no clue about..
Too much love can never be bad..
You close your eyes when you sneeze..
you cant get moisture from a cream that content alcohole...
There isnt real lemon in the dishwasher stuff..
It's still other sugar in the light coke...
You have like less then 1% chance winning the lottery to be millionairy...
You can't have any job you want cause you have the right connections...
And men dont have 1 less rib ...(God created Eve from a rib from Adam)
You cant get lifelong thin going on some diet for a month..
Woman only have a certain numbers of eggs...
you cant suffer about something you have no clue about..
Too much love can never be bad..
You close your eyes when you sneeze..
Today was a work day ...
even though I have vaicaition... I went to the Gym...worked my body... Then I went helping my mother she's gonna move..(again) and she have bought this apartment that she wanna have fixed before she move in... So I have spent like 4 hours painting and removing floor...she is picky and it must be exactly like she want it.. My arm hurts,..:(( damm its gonna be alot of pain tomorrow..and tomorrow the painting will continue..
Sunday, January 21, 2007
This is enoying...
People who only care about their looks... and how other looks... People who think that the most expensive clothes and stuff to arrange in their homes is life..
People who tell it to others and wanna show up them selves..they brag about it...
People who look down at others like they aint worth a damm thing...
people who judge others without being some angel themselves... People who act like their life's great but behind closed doors they are in a misery...
I aint saying its wrong to think about how you look...I aint saying it's wrong to buy expensive clothes and stuff just saying it's not all what life's about... And some people cant be open about their problems..but they dont have to go on and on about how great their life is..
Liers..Cheaters and people who talk shit... People who are manipulative and make others suffer to get what they want no mather what...
People who tell it to others and wanna show up them selves..they brag about it...
People who look down at others like they aint worth a damm thing...
people who judge others without being some angel themselves... People who act like their life's great but behind closed doors they are in a misery...
I aint saying its wrong to think about how you look...I aint saying it's wrong to buy expensive clothes and stuff just saying it's not all what life's about... And some people cant be open about their problems..but they dont have to go on and on about how great their life is..
Liers..Cheaters and people who talk shit... People who are manipulative and make others suffer to get what they want no mather what...
IAM FAMOUS FOR
Being a really nice person...
Alaways laughing until I cry...
Always laugh hard at my own jokes...
Always have real good comments and they come fast..
Singing alot with a not so good voice..lol
Wearing lipgloss...
Take long bath's
Chewing gum...
Have small ears..
Always cook food for at least 6 people..
Cries when Iam really happy..
Alaways laughing until I cry...
Always laugh hard at my own jokes...
Always have real good comments and they come fast..
Singing alot with a not so good voice..lol
Wearing lipgloss...
Take long bath's
Chewing gum...
Have small ears..
Always cook food for at least 6 people..
Cries when Iam really happy..
YOU'LL SEE
i wanna catch a falling tear
cause I know it has come to near
I didn't try to stay away.. just becouse I was afraid..
you build me up so you could tear me down...said trust the ocean you'll never drown
you'll see...you'll see...
I didnt want to be afraid...and people always try to say..
what is good for me and you ...that we should listen all through
but what they didn't understand is how I felt under your hand...
you build me up so you could tear me down...said trust the ocean you'll never drown
you'll see...you'll see
now Iam stronger then before my eyes are open and I have closed the door...
you'll see...you'll see
I can manage on my own ... I'll fight and I'll be so strong...
you'll see...you'll see
cause I know it has come to near
I didn't try to stay away.. just becouse I was afraid..
you build me up so you could tear me down...said trust the ocean you'll never drown
you'll see...you'll see...
I didnt want to be afraid...and people always try to say..
what is good for me and you ...that we should listen all through
but what they didn't understand is how I felt under your hand...
you build me up so you could tear me down...said trust the ocean you'll never drown
you'll see...you'll see
now Iam stronger then before my eyes are open and I have closed the door...
you'll see...you'll see
I can manage on my own ... I'll fight and I'll be so strong...
you'll see...you'll see
questions
dont ask me something you cant handle.. I will tell you the truth and I wont make it smoother and easyier for you to hear..I will tell right away straight forward with my own style that only I can... Then if you cant handle it its your own buissness cause I aint a mindreader and I aint a lier..
Maybe I choose not to tell you until you ask cause I knew how you were going to react...and I must say you cant be that smart cause you know I have a past too... Then when you run around and just scream and make my day a living hell just cause you are such a jelous ass.. Then I act COLD ...how the hell can I react to such stupidity? Its a reason it's my past...thats why I have moved on and that dont mean anything now...
This what was destroyed our relationship.. trust is the number 1 kee in a relationship...you hadnt any of that to me.. and I think you dont have any of that to yourself either...
Maybe I choose not to tell you until you ask cause I knew how you were going to react...and I must say you cant be that smart cause you know I have a past too... Then when you run around and just scream and make my day a living hell just cause you are such a jelous ass.. Then I act COLD ...how the hell can I react to such stupidity? Its a reason it's my past...thats why I have moved on and that dont mean anything now...
This what was destroyed our relationship.. trust is the number 1 kee in a relationship...you hadnt any of that to me.. and I think you dont have any of that to yourself either...
Saturday, January 20, 2007
I DONT NEED A MAN by PCD
I see you looking at me
Like I got something for you
And the way that you stare
Don't you dare
'Cause I'm not about to
Just give it on up to you
'Cause there are some things I won't do
And I'm not afraid to tell you
I don't ever want to leave you confused
The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm into you
I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Oh!
You know I got my own life
And I bought everything that's in it
So if you want to be with me
It ain't all about the bling you bringing
I want a love that's for real
And without that then no deal
And baby I don't need a hand
If it only wants to grab one thing
The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm feeling you
I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Like I got something for you
And the way that you stare
Don't you dare
'Cause I'm not about to
Just give it on up to you
'Cause there are some things I won't do
And I'm not afraid to tell you
I don't ever want to leave you confused
The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm into you
I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Oh!
You know I got my own life
And I bought everything that's in it
So if you want to be with me
It ain't all about the bling you bringing
I want a love that's for real
And without that then no deal
And baby I don't need a hand
If it only wants to grab one thing
The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm feeling you
I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
IN MY MP3...
Tupac....li'l homie Biggie Smalls...hypnotize Rah Digga....Fuck Ya'll Slim Thug & Paul Wall...get in my car Li'l Wayne ...I want you Kelis feat. NAS....blindfold me Fat Joe...lean back Trina...pull over PCD...I dont need a man MYA...pussycat Jay-z ...Hey papi
The Game...Compton Petey Pablo...freak a leak Ison o Fille...lägg ner ditt vapen
Christina Aguliera...hurt Jay-z...girls..girls R.Kelly...the worlds greatest R.kelly...turn back time Aaliyah...if your girl only knew Lil Wayne...leather so soft Kelis...bossy feat slimthug..
Ciara...promises Mary J blige..ONE Beyonce..ring the alarm...crazy in love...bonnie and clyde.
Chingy...dem jeans Slim Thug...Iam the boss screw version
The Game...Compton Petey Pablo...freak a leak Ison o Fille...lägg ner ditt vapen
Christina Aguliera...hurt Jay-z...girls..girls R.Kelly...the worlds greatest R.kelly...turn back time Aaliyah...if your girl only knew Lil Wayne...leather so soft Kelis...bossy feat slimthug..
Ciara...promises Mary J blige..ONE Beyonce..ring the alarm...crazy in love...bonnie and clyde.
Chingy...dem jeans Slim Thug...Iam the boss screw version
anal sex
everybody writes about it so now its my turn..lol
Every man is kinda fascinated about it and most men says repetable times that women likes it.. - all women I have been with likes it...- you gonna like it with me.. -it must be done right... and so on...
I have tried it..and I still aint a fan of it.. It hurts and I feel like a stuffed sausage.. I feel like Iam gonna shit.. and if someone likes that sure keep on..
But the fact that every woman likes it is a BIG LIE!!! all my friends and women I've talked to says its a pain in the ass... lol..
So why do men keep on lieing about this kinda shit??? dont they know we are smarter then that?? or do the women lie to the men about this and says it was the pleasure of the year?? I dont know and I still search for answers.. and the answers aint stuff in my ass so no searchin in there..lol
Every man is kinda fascinated about it and most men says repetable times that women likes it.. - all women I have been with likes it...- you gonna like it with me.. -it must be done right... and so on...
I have tried it..and I still aint a fan of it.. It hurts and I feel like a stuffed sausage.. I feel like Iam gonna shit.. and if someone likes that sure keep on..
But the fact that every woman likes it is a BIG LIE!!! all my friends and women I've talked to says its a pain in the ass... lol..
So why do men keep on lieing about this kinda shit??? dont they know we are smarter then that?? or do the women lie to the men about this and says it was the pleasure of the year?? I dont know and I still search for answers.. and the answers aint stuff in my ass so no searchin in there..lol
SCHOOL FORBID OTHER LANGUAGE
A school in sweden in the south area have alot of people who's not swedish.. its all kinda nationalitys...
Now the schools and teachers had enough they cant accept other language then swedish in the classes, becouse as they say they dont know what the students talk about... and they have troubbel of learning the swedish language correct..
I think this is wrong cause people should understand its for their own good to learn swedish correct.. and why is it gonna be like a rule and if you dont keep it you'll be kicked out..
It's good becouse lessons arnt a playground and if its a swedish lesson it's gonna be swedish not spanish or arabic..
Some people think this is rasism.. I think it's bullshit this is for the students own good.. and if they can't accept it move on and stop go to school...
Now the schools and teachers had enough they cant accept other language then swedish in the classes, becouse as they say they dont know what the students talk about... and they have troubbel of learning the swedish language correct..
I think this is wrong cause people should understand its for their own good to learn swedish correct.. and why is it gonna be like a rule and if you dont keep it you'll be kicked out..
It's good becouse lessons arnt a playground and if its a swedish lesson it's gonna be swedish not spanish or arabic..
Some people think this is rasism.. I think it's bullshit this is for the students own good.. and if they can't accept it move on and stop go to school...
WISE WORDS
TRY ALL AT LEAST ONCE OR ELSE YOU CANT KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.. NEVER GET CAUGHT UP IN BAD THINGS TRY IT JUST AND MOVE ON!!!!!
TRUST
I always trust people before they prove something else.. Iam maybe to kind and Iam a very forgiving person.. I can give alot of chances to people that have hurt me .. But sometimes even I get enough and then I become icecold .. I dont forgive ever and things can never be the same again... Often people think they can drive me and push me very very far and I will still forgive them and when they realize that I have a level to.. they are so SORRY.. but then its to late...
What I try to say is..if you have me as a friend as a partner and you dont hurt me you will have me for life.. but everytime you hurt me some of what we have go off and it will end up in that we dont have a fucking thing...
I aint saying Iam a pretty little angel that never do anything wrong..I can hurt to I know that but I aint lie, cheat, back-trash you or being unlojal... I try to always think my behaviour after how I want others to behave..
What I try to say is..if you have me as a friend as a partner and you dont hurt me you will have me for life.. but everytime you hurt me some of what we have go off and it will end up in that we dont have a fucking thing...
I aint saying Iam a pretty little angel that never do anything wrong..I can hurt to I know that but I aint lie, cheat, back-trash you or being unlojal... I try to always think my behaviour after how I want others to behave..
Friday, January 19, 2007
my friend Alex
I had this best friend that I always hung with his name was Alex... Alex and I did everything together when I lived in Cambridge.. he tought me all the bad stuff..lol.. he was like 4 years older then me and he took me to places I never been to... He took me to my first rave.. and it was like WOHA!! me Alex and 5 other guys .. we danced all night took some E and behaved like we owned the place.. My first Rave in London... I was amazed it was hard music just pumping in my brain mixing with the E I took and it made it all like a heaven.. The music wasnt longer music it was like a story... I always had a good time with Alex and the badboyz... I dont know where I got the currage from but I knew that they would never let anything bad happen to me..
I did all what they did.. and as I said they tought me all to be bad..lol
When I came back to sweden I was bored... thats why I have moved so much.. I dont do drugs anymore and I will never do it again just so you know, but I think all people should try cause it will give you some experiance that you never can read your brain to get...
I did all what they did.. and as I said they tought me all to be bad..lol
When I came back to sweden I was bored... thats why I have moved so much.. I dont do drugs anymore and I will never do it again just so you know, but I think all people should try cause it will give you some experiance that you never can read your brain to get...
my mother
I can honestly say I have no secrets.. Iam open as a book to people who know me.. my friends and family know the whole story.. and since I was a little girl I always told my mother everything, and I asked her about everything...
Ma what does horny means?? that one I get to hear alot of jokes about and my older sisters always is like what is wrong with you? asking those kinda questions??lol.. but I never cared if I wanna know or tell something it was my mother that I talked to and those days its still is.. I can trust her to 100% and often when people tell me stuff I cant tell but they know I always share it with my mother they say and dont tell your mother...ofcourse I keep my mouth shut..lol
When I was a teenager I surely was real experimental and curious.. I tried all the drugs and I never hide that from my mother who ofcourse was very worried wich I couldnt understand cause I knew this was just a period in my life...
This lead to some years of anger cause I thought she was just messy with me..and I thought she couldnt understand me at all...
Now I do understand and I do feel that worrie she was feeling.. thats whats its like being a mother...Iam constantly worried about mine 2 and still Iam pretty laid back I think ..
My mother gave me so much when I was a kid, she is a strong woman and she is the reason to that my chaildhood was good... she is my hero and she can teach me whatever..
Ma what does horny means?? that one I get to hear alot of jokes about and my older sisters always is like what is wrong with you? asking those kinda questions??lol.. but I never cared if I wanna know or tell something it was my mother that I talked to and those days its still is.. I can trust her to 100% and often when people tell me stuff I cant tell but they know I always share it with my mother they say and dont tell your mother...ofcourse I keep my mouth shut..lol
When I was a teenager I surely was real experimental and curious.. I tried all the drugs and I never hide that from my mother who ofcourse was very worried wich I couldnt understand cause I knew this was just a period in my life...
This lead to some years of anger cause I thought she was just messy with me..and I thought she couldnt understand me at all...
Now I do understand and I do feel that worrie she was feeling.. thats whats its like being a mother...Iam constantly worried about mine 2 and still Iam pretty laid back I think ..
My mother gave me so much when I was a kid, she is a strong woman and she is the reason to that my chaildhood was good... she is my hero and she can teach me whatever..
Thursday, January 18, 2007
money makes the worls go around...
Todays Sweden : noone sleeps on the street...(they think)
everyone have money (sure but not much)
People can make their dreams come true ( maybe in the fantasy's)
Everyone can be what they wanna be...( if they have money)
you cant beat kids or abuse them then you go to jail...( yes but people still do..and if they go to jail afterwords they are locked in some protected safe jail so they cant be beaten up or killed assholes)
If you want help you just need to ask...( yes and then get denyed)
Swedish men are real men they have really come far about this women and men at same level...( the woman get to pay for everything, the man just sit on his fat ass and respect it)
there aint no dating actions in Sweden ( cause men get what they are after anyway by women who doesnt have a brain to use the dating..)
The swedish lingo isn't swedish..( its arabic, spanish, turkish, english and more in a big mix)
In sweden people get paid of their kids father so they can have a good life...( LOL NOT ...maybe if u can count those few kroner that you get from the state) ..
Everyone have the right to see their kids..( yes even if the kids dont want it and have been abused or if their father have killed their mother while the kids watched)
Men..and ...men
what the hell is wrong with people today?? not just today ..today...I mean like in this time area?? people act like they dont have a brain and specially the men..I cant say what it is..they just behave in a not normal way.. acting like they are God's but still they cant do anything...they dont get their own money, they sleep all day, they fuck anything that comes around, they make u feel safe for in the next minut tear your whole reality apart...
They dont feel ashame for the bad they caused in your life and they expect you 2 forgive em even though they dont ask for your forgiveness and then they expect sex and all to be good as hell!!!
FUCK YOU!! theres a reason why Iam still singel and its soon gonna be 2 years since I had a BF... Is this something swedish fenomen..or is it all over the fucking world?? Thats what I wanna know..
They dont feel ashame for the bad they caused in your life and they expect you 2 forgive em even though they dont ask for your forgiveness and then they expect sex and all to be good as hell!!!
FUCK YOU!! theres a reason why Iam still singel and its soon gonna be 2 years since I had a BF... Is this something swedish fenomen..or is it all over the fucking world?? Thats what I wanna know..
look alikes..
Iam a mix of Terri Hatcher and Angelina Jolie... but I dont think so..I look like me...even though this was fun .. Everytime Terri and Angelina came up.. I cant see in any way why...but lifes strange..lol
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
love
why cant people just love eachother instead of just fighting, argueing and being pissed off?
Someone wise once told me when I had been angry for a while...Life is to short going around being angry just destroy your life.. you can never ever play your life on repeat...what happens happens now..and you can never stop the time or go back just to do something else...
those words are living in my head since that day...I know its true..and I know life is passing by...and if you're not careful..someday you gonna wake up and realize that it's soon your time ..and that you haven't done anything yet...
So live life to it's limit...dont waste your energy on being angry...forgive and move on... it's your life and it aint too long...
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
sometimes....
sometimes I just feel to shoot you...see all those bullets pop in your body... maybe then you could understand what real fuckin pain is...
But I dont do it...cause I have a brain and sometime you will have your payday!!
For all the fuckers that hit women you're PUSSYS and its for me to know and you to find out what the futures hold for you... expect the unexpected... someday , somehow, somebody gonna hurt you like the ways you've hurted...
The eyes are the mirror of your soul... so can you see into my heart when you look into them?? can you see my thoughts?? can you see my pain my love and all my passion??
If then why the hell dont you do something??
Sometimes when I cant speak I try to show you with my eyes how I feel... but you still dont see it so fuck all that shit about my eyes are the mirror to my soul....
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